HONK! HOOOOOOOOOONK! HONK!
Hey Frank buddy! How ya doin'? How's it going?
Ouch! Fred, is that you?
Yeah, it's me. Didn't you hear me honk?
Oh, yes, I heard it. I still hear it - kind of
ringing around in my ears. Fred, that thing is really loud.
Hey, these old Ramblers have horns that just won't
quit. Nice tone, you know? Best thing about this old baby. So, out
for a bike ride, huh?
I'm just doing some easy miles before it gets dark,
and I had to stop at the hardware store. How about you?
Hey, I was stopping at the hardware store too! I was
just getting some Rustoleum and some Bondo for the Rambler here. So
you even ride your bike to the store, huh? Man, you're really
something!
Well Fred, it's only a mile. It seems kind of dumb
to take the car!
You calling me dumb?
No, no, Fred, I mean it would be dumb for me
to take the car, because I live so close, just one mile. I don't
even know exactly where you live...
It's about half a mile from the store, buddy.
Oh, well, I didn't mean to say...
Hey, forget it, man. I'm not that sure I want to be
a biker anyway. I'm about fed up with bikers.
Fred! What are you talking about?
Oh, you talk about having a right to the road, but
shoot! You guys think you own the darn road! This ain't your
playground, buddy!
Calm down, Fred. What do you mean?
I'll tell you what I mean. I mean I'm driving along
Main Street, you know, and here's three bikers right in front of me.
And they're all three riding along side by side! So I lay down on
the horn to pass. Did they get over? Shoot, the guy on the left
waves me a signal, and he wasn't waving hi, if you know what I mean!
It didn't make me like you bikers any better!
Fred, I agree. They shouldn't have been riding three
abreast, and they should have singled up to let you pass. But about
that horn of yours...
Hey, that's not all, buddy. The next day, I'm
driving along and there's bikers everywhere, you know? There's a
whole line of them. It's darn hard to get past all those bikes!
Were they riding single file?
Yeah, they were single file, and I know they got a
right to be there, but it still makes me nervous, you know? Anyway,
I finally get up to the front, and there's a whole bunch, all
stopped at the stop sign.
But they're supposed to stop at the stop sign.
Yeah, but all over the road? Shoot, they're standing
around talking and drinking water - or whatever they got in those
bottles - way in the middle of the lane! I had a darn tough time
getting by! You know, buddy, when they do that, it looks kind of bad
for you bikers!
Fred, I agree with you. I'm sure they weren't
thinking - because a good rider knows to stop well off the road, and
knows that courtesy pays off.
[Toot!]
Yeah, well with bikers like that out there, you've
got no right to call me dumb.
Fred, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you dumb. I
was talking about myself, you see..
[Toot! Toot!]
HEY BACK THERE! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY TALKING HERE?
GO AROUND!
Uh, Fred, I think you're car's blocking traffic a
bit. Maybe you should pull over here and...
[TOOOT!]
Hey, I gotta go. This jerk behind me's in a big
hurry. HEY, WHERE'S THE FIRE, FELLA? Well, you tell those bikers
what I said.
I'll tell them to try to see the other person's
view, Fred, and to be courteous to motorists. And I'll remind them
that when they make mistakes like that, it makes all cyclists look
bad. But I'd like to talk to you about that horn someday.
Yeah, it's really something, huh? Nice and loud!
Well, I gotta go. And hey, I'm not really that mad at you since you
apologized and all.
[TOOOOT!]
I'M GOING, YOU TURKEY! I'M GOING! Hey, see you
around, buddy.
HONK! HONK! HOOOOOOONK!
Ouch. Goodbye, Fred.
- © FRANK KRYGOWSKI
Frank 'N Fred
